Breaking: BK Turns Chicken Fries Fiery

Chicken fries are a curious creation ... why anyone saw a need to basically stretch out the chicken nugget is anyone's guess. But now Burger King has expanded the whole chicken fry frontier by adding new companion ones to its menu that are FIERY. This genuinely changes everything. And they're not fucking around—according to the BK website, these Fiery Chicken Fries aren't just fiery, they're "offensively spicy." Check back for a follow-up report on these later. At some point. Maybe.

Some Dude on Twitter Makes Axel Braun Meme

So this story got posted some places yesterday about how fans were begging Axel Braun to make a Fantastic Four movie that's actually good. At the heart of the story is the meme to left that seems to have been created a couple days ago by one Julian James in Melbourne, who proudly twatted late last night that his meme had made Cosmic Book News. (Apparently he missed that it also made Adult Video News.) The moral to be gleaned here, then, is that memes now constitute news. Guess there's some shred of comfort construable from the fact that Julian at least used "you're" and not "your." Talk about having no hope.

Truffle Fries in Chip Form

Lay's has placed this potato chip flavor on the market as part of its annual "Do Us a Flavor" campaign, and goddamit if it's not the most enticing chip flavor ever to appear. If you've never had truffle fries, go get some. And while you're out, pick up a bag of these chips and bring them over. Thanks. Also some beer. You da man.

That Dude Done Seen a Sasquatch

A dude on vacation in the North Carolina mountains took the following video with his phone while walking his dog Zippy near his rental cabin Thursday morning. It's pretty easy to assume this dude is a loopy nutbag who somehow mistook a bear for Bigfoot, until you watch the video, which definitely looks like footage of something that is not a bear getting chased off by Zippy's yappy dog yaps. This is a tough one. Because that shit looks like a goddamn Sasquatch. And if there's anyplace a Sasquatch is likely to exist, it's the mountains of North Cackalack. Then again, could just be a backwoods local fucking with out-of-towners.

Micheal Weinstein, You've Got It All Backwards

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Retired Porn Stars: The New Arbiters of Goodness?

A website called MMAMania.com posted a story today with this headline: "Ronda Rousey is so good she even impresses retired adult film stars." There are any number of guesses one might venture as to just what in the regal fuck that's supposed to mean, but the long and short of the story itself is that Lisa Ann spent a few moments extolling Rousey's virtues during her weekly guest spot on the Mad Dog Sports Radio show "Morning Men."

So back to that headline, it's already off the mark by espousing that Rousey impresses retired adult film stars, when in fact there's only one retired adult film star in the discussion.

The Dictionary Be On Fleek, Fo' Shizzle

The term "fo' shizzle" has officially been added to the Oxford English Dictionary. Because if enough people start using the distorted versions of actual words, that makes the distorted versions words too, apparently. Which would be cool, except that it begs the question of why "ma nizzle" remains unsanctioned by the linguistic authority.

But don't fret—while Oxford may not recognize it, "ma nizzle" does appear in McGraw-Hill's Dictionary of American Slang and Colloquial Expressions ... at least as one half of a single entry with its vernacular counterpart. Good lookin' out, McGraw-Hill: